Bad Celebrity Apologies: A Yom Kippur Tradition
Each Yom Kippur afternoon, after the sanctuary has quieted post-Musaf and the long day stretches on, my congregation gathers for adult learning. For several years, our session has been a community favorite: “Bad Celebrity Apologies.” It’s exactly what it sounds like — and so much more.
This playful yet meaningful session explores what makes a genuine apology and how we seek forgiveness for our own missteps, all through the lens of the worst (and rarely best) celebrity apologies of the past year. It’s an energizing way to break up the long afternoon and invite laughter, learning, and spiritual insight at a time when many feel low (and hangry).
Building Connection and Context
We begin informally, sitting in a circle, introducing ourselves, and doing a light icebreaker. Even in a small congregation, people don’t know others outside of their “silos.” The structure helps build community and warmth on a day that can, otherwise, feel solitary and inward.
I begin with a brief teaching from Maimonides’ Hilchot Teshuvah (Laws of Repentance) — a grounding in the Jewish framework for apology. We spend a few minutes discussing how Maimonides describes the process of confession and repentance, including the obligation to apologize up to three times if forgiveness isn’t granted. Participants are always fascinated by this: what it means to offer a real apology, and how difficult it can be — both to apologize sincerely and to forgive fully.
What Makes a Good Apology?
From there, we turn to modern wisdom — the elements of a good apology, drawn from psychiatrist, Dr. Aaron Lazare:
- Acknowledge the offense
- Explain what happened (but don’t make excuses)
- Express remorse
- Offer to make amends
According to research, the most essential component of a well-received apology is the apologizer taking responsibility for their actions. Not “I’m sorry you were hurt!” The person must admit that their words or actions caused harm. The next most powerful element is an offer of repair — actually doing something concrete to make amends.
Enter: The Celebrities
Then comes the fun part. We analyze a selection of celebrity apologies from the past year — some cringeworthy, some surprising, and a few are even sincere.
In 2025, for instance, we examined Iowa Senator Joni Ernst’s “apology” video following controversial remarks she made at a town hall. Responding to concerns about Medicaid cuts and a constituent’s exclamation that due to the cuts, “people are going to die!” Ernst quipped, “Well, we’re all going to die!” The backlash was swift, and her follow-up “apology,” filmed in a graveyard, somehow managed to make things worse. Sarcastic, defensive, and peppered with religious overtones, it demonstrated almost none of the four elements of a good apology — a textbook example of what not to do.
Over the years, our gallery of “bad apologies” has included Sean “Diddy” Combs, Mario Batali, Justin Timberlake, Will Smith, Lea Michele, Harvey Weinstein, Steve Harvey, and Matt Lauer. Some are laughably tone-deaf, others, well-intentioned but incomplete. And once in a while, we discover a genuinely good one.
A Breath of Fresh Air
2025’s standout was Robert Irwin’s apology for leaving a restaurant without paying. He explained the situation (being mobbed by fans and distracted), took full responsibility, called the restaurant to pay, and, when they refused, offered them positive publicity on social media. He even pledged to return and pay for the original meal. Participants in my class were impressed by his sincerity and noticed that he hit all four of the elements of a good, well-received apology.
Why “Bad Celebrity Apologies” Works
The mix of humor, honesty, and Jewish text creates a space that feels both light and deep — exactly what many people need during Yom Kippur afternoon. “Bad Celebrity Apologies” helps participants engage with teshuvah in a fresh way, using familiar cultural references to illuminate timeless spiritual truths.
I’ve led this program five times since 2016, and it’s always a hit. There’s never a shortage of bad apologies in the news — and, fortunately, never a shortage of opportunities to reflect on our own capacity for growth and forgiveness. Participants can talk about how difficult it is for them to offer a sincere apology without the session feeling invasive or therapeutic. The focus is outside of ourselves, which allows deep personal insights.
Want to Try It Yourself?
For anyone interested in bringing this to their community, here are a few quick tips:
- Keep it conversational: A circle, personal introductions, and a relaxed, humorous tone go a long way. Make space for people to be themselves.
- Ground it in text: A short excerpt from Maimonides, the Machzor, or another source on apology anchors the conversation spiritually and ties it into the themes of Yom Kippur.
- Curate carefully: Choose apologies that are public and recent, but not traumatizing or overly political. For example, last year I intentionally left out an “apology” from Ye (formerly Kanye West) that was graphically sexual and stayed far away from apologies around Charlie Kirk’s tragic murder.
- Invite laughter and learning: People remember what they laugh about. Humor can be a profound teacher. Find ways to gently refer to how difficult it can be for participants to offer a good apology. Make space if they want to share ways that they have been disappointed by apologies that they have received.
Every Yom Kippur, we ask God — and one another — for forgiveness. “Bad Celebrity Apologies” reminds us that the art of apology is both universal and deeply personal. Throw in a little pop culture and you have the ability to teach lessons that, otherwise, might seem abstract and hard to internalize.
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Rabbi Sarah Freidson serves Temple Beth Shalom in Mahopac, N.Y. She is a graduate of the Jewish Theological Seminary, an alumna of Cohort 3 of the Clergy Leadership Incubator (CLI). This article is cross-posted on CLI’s Spiritual Innovation Blog.
